Hetalia- Pregnant Part 1

This was a dream I had… seriously.

Warning : script format, human names, some nations are nytolia, lots of pregnancies, Lovina swearing and mention of one night stands, sex, rape of a minor and an incest rape and plotless crack.

Act 1 The Italies
Scene 1

(Setting: Feliciana's home's living room; Players: Lovina, Ludwig, Feliciana and Antonio)

(Lovina comes out of the bathroom and hits Ludwig, whom is sitting on the Italian leather couch reading "How to understand Italians")

Ludwig: What the hell!

Lovina: How dare you touch my sister! Is she a plaything to you! Someone you can f**k?!

Ludwig: What are you talking about?

Lovina: (hits him again)

Feliciana: (runs in super happy and hugs Ludwig) Ludwig! You wouldn't believe the great new I have!

Lovina: How is it great news! It's terrible news! This bastard should pay! What he did to you was the worst thing…

Feliciana: The same thing Antonio did to you.

Lovina: (glares at her sister) Trust me, Antonio will have a long talk with me.

Antonio: (comes into the room, sad) What did I do wrong?

Feliciana: Me and Lovina are pregnant!

(Antonio smiles the largest smile known to country or man and hugs Lovina. She hits him. Ludwig drops his book and looks shocked)

Antonio: Really! Today is going to be a new holiday in Spain and Italy! (drops the kicking Lovina and looks at Ludwig) Mi amigo, we're going to be fathers!

Feliciana: (looks hurt, pokes her lover) Ludwig, aren't you happy?

Lovina: Of Course not! And why are you so happy! (looks at Antonio dancing)

Antonio: (grabs Lovina and starts tangoing) Because I'm going to be a father and an uncle! (Passionately kisses her on the lips, she eventually kisses him back.)

Feliciana: Ludwig (pokes him broken hearted) Why aren't you like Antonio right now?

Ludwig: Just a little shock, (kiss her cheek and she giggles). I'm happy.


Act 2: Finland
Scene 1: The Drug Store

(Setting: Finnish Drug Store: Players: Eduard and Tiina)

(Tiina had her best friend Eduard visit when he suspects that she's pregnant. So now they're looking at the pregnancy tests)

Eduard (Playing on his PSP): Just pick one.

Tiina: I don't know which one! Do I take the more expensive one because more expensive usually means better quality or do I take a cheaper one because it doesn't matter? And what's the difference between this kind and this kind (shows Eduard two pink boxes). Why can't Berwald be here? He knows this type of things.

Eduard: I doubt he knows about pregnancy tests.

Tiina: (starts crying) I need Berwald!

Eduard (looks something up on his PSP and then picks a box): Doctors say this is the best.

Tiina: (Kisses his cheeks) Thank you!

(They go to pay)

Tiina: when we get back to my place, I'll take the test and see. Hopefully I fail. I'm not ready for a baby. Peter is enough trouble for us at the moment.

Eduard: At least this time you have nine months to get ready. It's not like Berwald's going to come home one day with this kid like he did with Peter. I didn't even know you could buy a kid on eBay.

(Pays for the test and rushes to her car)


Scene 2: Daddy's home

(Setting: Tiina and Berwald's living room; Players: Tiina, Eduard, Peter and Berwald)

(Tiina is sitting on the couch, nervous; Eduard is playing a video game with Peter)

Tiina: Okay, maybe after I feed him first and then tell him. Or maybe I just tell him before dinner? Or maybe before bed. Maybe…

Eduard: Stop worrying, it's not like Berwald's going to kill you. He loves you, very, very much.

Tiina: (stands up and starts pacing) Eduard have you ever had to tell someone you're pregnant!

Peter (looks up from his video): Mama! I'm going to have a baby brother or sister! (throws his video game and hugs his mama). I'm going to be a big brother! I'm going to call Kate and Rozālija! (leaves)

Eduard: The whole world will know you're pregnant before your husband. Did you know that both Italies are pregnant too? Maybe you can raise your kid with them.

Tiina: I'm not sure of what Berwald would say about that.  (Hears the door) Berwald's home.

Peter's voice: PAPA! PAPA! PAPA! MAMA'S PREGNANT !

Tiina: (runs out) Peter!

Eduard (laughs)

(In the doorway) Berwald: 'r you 'kay?

Tiina (blushing): Yeah

Berwald: 'r you r'lly? (Tiina nods. Berwald hugs her and smiles (A/N Berwald smiling it's a miracle) Tiina hugs him back).

Eduard: Congratulation, I told you there was nothing to worry about.


Act 3: Japan
Scene 1: Axis
(Setting: Ludwig's house. Players: Kiku, Feliciana and Ludwig)

(Feliciana is moving in with Ludwig and Kiku and Feliciana are sitting at the table drinking tea.)

Feliciana: I miss espressos.

Ludwig: It's bad for the baby.

Feliciana: But I'm only five weeks pregnant! It can't hurt the baby too much.
Kiku: Tea is healthier.

Feliciana: But Espresso taste better!

Ludwig: The servants threw out all the coffee in the house.

Feliciana: WHAT! For nine months I can't have coffee! I have to drink this! (points the tea)

Ludwig: and here comes the mood swings. (sighs) Can we sit down and not have a conversation about espresso.

Feliciana: I want pasta! Ludwig, the cravings are starting!

Ludwig (gets up): You always want pasta. (he leaves)

Kiku: How is your pregnancy going?

Feliciana: Amazing! other than not having my espresso in the morning. Ludwig doesn't make me train! He also encourages siestas! He read in this baby book that siestas are good of the baby!

Kiku: That's nice. How did you know you were pregnant?

Feliciana: OH, Lovina and I started throwing up one night. We thought we ate some bad pasta or fish. But when we would get better and then started getting sick again, Lovina went to the doctor. He told her that she was pregnant and then she told me and we checked if I was pregnant. And I was.   

Kiku: So there were no feelings other than sickness.

Feliciana: Well Lovina was more moody than usual.

Kiku: you didn't have this feeling that something was inside you?

Feliciana: ARE YOU PREGNANT TOO! You and Hercules must be so happy!

Ludwig (walks in with pasta): Kiku are you really pregnant?

Kiku: I don't know, I just had this feeling ever since the last I visit Hercules in Greece.

Feliciana: Come on! (takes Kiku and leaves)

Ludwig (runs after them): Feliciana be careful! Think of the BABY!

Scene 2: Serving Diner
(Setting: Kiku's house, at the dining table; Players: Hercules and Kiku)

(Kiku is serving Hercules a sushi dining. She's taking a long time. She slowly sits down.)

Kiku (none like it was nothing): I'm pregnant.

(Hercules looks at her a little surprised, then goes back to eating)

Hercules: Can we get another cat for the babe?

Kiku: Not until the first birthday.

Act 4 Poland
Scene 1: Like TOTALLY
(Setting: Poland's house. Players: Toris and Felicja)

(Felicja runs out of the bathroom in a pink miniskirt and her panties to her ankles.)

Felicja: Liet! LIET! LIET!

(Toris comes out of his office. Felicja pushes a positive Pregnancy test in his face)

Toris: I can't see! And why does it smell like pee?

Felicja (moves it back): I'm like totally preggers! (Toris faints). Liet? (Felicja kneels down and starts poking Toris with the pregnancy test) Like Liet?  Liet? Toris? Darling? Honey?

(Felicja goes and comes back with a bucket of water)

Toris: That's cold!

Felicja: You're wake! Now we like totally have to go baby shopping! My little baby will be more fashionable then the Italies, Tiina's or Kiku's baby! We all know that Lovina and Feliciana are fashionable women.

Toris: Are you punking me?

Felicja: (Shows him the pregnancy test). Seriously like no.

Toris: let's go to the doctors just in case.

Felicja: (whining) and then we can go baby shopping!


Scene 2: At the mall

(Setting: Baby store; Players: Felicja and Toris)

(Felicja holding up a pink dress)

Toris: You're five weeks pregnant! How can you know it's going to be a girl? It can be a boy.

Felicja: Like fashion totally has no gender!

Toris: You've been watching too much Glee.
 
Act 5 Belarus
Scene 1: Marry me, Russia
(Setting: Russia's bedroom; Players: Natalia, Ivan and Rozālija)

(Ivan is sleeping with his arm's a shaking Rozālija. Natalia runs in and jumps on Ivan and hugs him like grim death. )

Ivan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Rozālija wakes up and runs away)

Natalia: Big brother!

Ivan: Get away! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!

Natalia: You have to marry me now! (Shows him her stomach) The doctor says I'm pregnant.

Ivan: Get away from me! (Jumps out of bed but Natalia still hugs him). I didn't get you pregnant!

Natalia: Remember that night when I tied you up and….

Ivan: GO AWAY! GO AWAY!
 
Act 6 Belgium

Scene 1: Bugger
(Setting: Arthur house's entrance; Players: Emma and Arthur)

(Emma is setting on the chair. Arthur comes down.)

Arthur: Hello Emma, how are…

Emma (gets up and give him a piece of paper): Read this.

Arthur: Is this a marriage …

Emma: My big brother said that I have to marry you.

Arthur: Why? Sure ever since you became independent from old Frog face, we've…

Emma: I'm pregnant. (Arthur looks surprised. He then sits down.) Say something?

Arthur: Bugger

Act 7 Hungary
Scene 1: How many times now?
(Setting: outside the bathroom at Roderich and Elizaveta's house; Players: Roderich and Elizaveta)

(Elizaveta is in the bathroom, while Roderich waits outside)

Elizaveta: It will be positive this time!

Roderich: We've been trying for years, why do you think this time it's going to be any different.

Elizaveta: First Lovina and Feliciana, then Tiina, then Kiku, then Felicja, then Natalia and now Emma! This is the time to try! God wants us to have children! I can feel it this time.

Roderich: Did God tell you this like the time he told you to hit Francis with your frying pan.

Elizaveta: No but…

Roderich: Are you alright?

Elizaveta: YES!

Roderich: What! What happened? (Elizaveta opens the door with a smile) Are you?

Elizaveta: (nods and hugs her husband.): I told you it was a sign! I have to call all my girls! (takes out her cell phone) Felicja! YES! We should have a play date every Saturday! YES!

Roderich: It's about time.

 
Act 8 Taiwan
Scene 1: Surprise Li
(Setting: Li's room; Players: Li and Chen)

(Chen sneaks into Li's room, while Li is talking with Emil on his cell phone.)

Li: I'll hang up now. Chen just came in. … Talk with Mister Puffin…. Sure Good Night.

Chen: (kisses him)

Li: Are you feeling better?

Chen looks away: Um… Chi took me to see the doctor today.

Li: Okay, so what did the doctor say?

Chen: I'm 4 weeks pregnant.

Li calls Emil: Thanks for being my friend… I'm a father.


Scene 2 Telling Yao (the actually part of my dream)
(Setting: Yao's house for dinner; Players: Yao, Li and Chen)

(Everyone is eating a large diner, with music)

Yao: Did you hear, Elizaveta found out she was pregnant last week. How many more pregnancies are there going to be, aru? (Li and Chen looks at each other and then looked to the ground) Well at least Elizaveta and Roderich were trying, aru.

Chen: Good of them.

Yao: I saw Kiku yesterday, already four months in. She was shopping with Feliciana and Lovina, you can really tell that they're pregnant, aru.

Li: Do they know if it's…

Chen: I'm pregnant too.

Yao: What, aru?

Chen: I'm pregnant, too.

Yao: Congratulation.